Why Jamie Lynn Spears Should Have Claimed Immaculate Conception

She had to know it was coming. By making the announcement that Britney Spears’ 16-year-old sister and star of a Nickelodeon TV show was knocked up, Jamie Lynn Spears had to know that all of us tabloid type rags would have a field day with her misfortune.

Various sources have already speculated that Casey Aldridge is not the baby’s daddy and if an older man is proven to be the father, he could face statutory rape charges. There have even been rumors that she was dating rapper so and so and I am sure plenty of others I may have missed.

So what could of Jamie Lynn have done to avoid the unavoidable?

She should have thrown every blogger and tabloid writer a knuckle ball and claimed she was still a virgin at the time of her pregnancy. Shit, Allen Iverson’s mother tried to claim the same thing years ago. Sure we would have spent our time discrediting this claim, and maybe rumors would have gotten a little wilder, but how do you really take down someone who is already crazy. It is like Eminem in 8 Mile, if she beat us all to the punch line by claiming something so off the wall, really what would we have left?

I am not saying she should of come right out and claimed Immaculate Conception. But hinting at it, talking about it, and sticking with the story would of kept the ball in her court for some time. Instead of having time to ignite crazy rumors, we all would have been chomping at the bit for the next sensational headline that Jamie created herself. You know the old saying “if you can’t beat them, join them” and this could have been Jamie’s way of giving us our own shit back. “You want a story I got a story for you! I never had sex but somehow I woke up pregnant.” It could be a technique implemented by other celebrities, if you put us sniffing down the wrong trail and that trail smells like roses, then we will probably forget about the real trail all together.

She was at least smart to cut a deal for exclusive rights to her baby pictures, which is a smart move if you ask me. I mean I have never met a parent who didn’t want to show off their annoying kid, why not get paid for something so many millions are willing to do for free? Imagine how much more she would of gotten if the baby was born under even more extraordinary circumstances. The tabloids wouldn’t have cared if the claims were not true, they would have only cared to be the first to publish pictures of the so-called “miracle baby.”

I know this is a silly idea, but oh what fun we all and Jamie could have had! It is not like other celebrities have not tried this technique before. Remember when Eddie Murphy claimed to just be giving that tranny prostitute a lift? Same idea really. We were all so busy laughing about it, people forgot. So here is to Jamie Lynn for already following in the shoes of her older sis. Heh, maybe she will turn out to be a better mother than Brit and we will all get bored and move onto another target.